I am back! As you can see, I took a break from blogging – and in all that time, I’ve realized how important it is to share all the good stuff (and important work) that I am doing.
This is the season to be thankful. We have been hearing that over and over- and for me, it is an important one. My husband Chris and I have been faced with some of the hardest challenges that life can throw out at a person. The loss of a child is up there as one of the most traumatic experiences one can face. Since that time of losing our baby Silas, we have also been faced with some unexplained secondary infertility. Meaning- we are having a tough time getting pregnant again.
So why am I sharing all of this, especially in my FOJY blog? because this is something important about me and my work that goes hand in hand. I teach yoga to children. I teach children how to deal with the stresses of their everyday, how to honor themselves for who they are, how to work together with friends to reach a common goal and encourage them to be thankful for the gifts they do have in their life.
When I teach these simple tools day after day, I am able to then internalize them for myself. Even though I’ve been a practicing yogi for almost 20 years, I need reminders. Even though I teach these important lessons to dozens of incredible children every week, I need to remind myself of the gifts I have been given.
I can wallow in my self pity- why me? why did this happen to me? why can’t I get pregnant? why why why. Instead, and this is a tough one, I choose to be thankful for the things that I do have. My work reminds me of this on a daily basis. I am blessed at having the most incredible loving husband, amazing families & friends, a warm home and good food to eat, and I have my health. These are all things I remind myself every day. I am allowed to feel sadness for my loss, anger for what challenges I have to face day after day, it is important to feel these things. But to balance them with joy, laughter and thankfulness is something I choose to do.
The other day, while waiting for the monthly news yet again, a friend told me to do something really important that has stuck with me. She said,
“today you need to do something nice for someone. So if you get your good news, it will start you off with some good karma. If not, at least you’ll feel good about doing something for someone else.”
I took that in, carried it with me, and dedicated my weekend to doing things for others. I started purchasing and making gifts, I sent out some necessary emails, and I focused on others instead of my anxiety. But don’t get me wrong, I needed to give myself some much needed love as well. I did all the things I wanted to this weekend- things I knew would make me happy. I shed some tears, but also gave myself the gift of laughter, friends, food & relaxation.
I took a great yoga class at lululemon on Sunday morning. The wonderful teacher said something like-
“in order to get out of something, you need to move through it.”
Yes!!! thank you. It was what I had been waiting to hear. I love that saying. It is something I will use in my life and my work when things get tough.
I didn’t get the news I was hoping for, but in spite of it, I chose to have a beautiful weekend and in taking care of others I also took care of myself.
I love you Lani, always. Can't wait to see you on Fruday.
that was so beautiful lani….and i love reading your optimistic words….i remember telling you that you need to find something to smile about each and every day …and the belief that doing something nice for someone will make your life better is a great way to achieve that. you have enhanced so many lives in the course of your travels through this world and that is what will keep you moving forward.
we are all hoping and praying for the good news you await….but meanwhile ..giving to others and appreciating the gifts that surround you will help you through your travails of the day,
i love you and am proud of each and every accomplishment that you have achieved…..you are an awesome human being and deserve all the good things you desire.
cant wait to see you and chris on fri…